AMR Therapy | Online Video Therapy

Attachment and Relationships

Have you ever found yourself wondering why you or your partner(s) are so avoidant during difficult conversations? Well, this difficulty could be link directly to attachment style. John Bowlby developed the attachment theory while working with children in the 1950s. He observed that how children bonded was directly related to how their caregivers would react to them. The level in which the caregiver soothed or met the child’s needs, would then impact that child’s ability to feel safe and close to others. Bowlby identified 3 main forms of attachment secure, insecure anxious, and insecure avoidant. In the 1980’s researcher studied how childhood attachment styles impacted adult intimate relationships. Studies found that people who had positive bonding with their caregivers had a secure attachment style. They were able to be emotionally close, had open and honest communication with their partner and built a trusting relationship. While people that had more challenges in the child caregiver bonding would become, anxious or avoidant. Often the anxious person and avoidant person find themselves in a romantic dance of pushing and pulling.

This happens when the anxiously attached person seeks trust, closeness, validation and safety in co-dependent manner and the avoidant person is overwhelmed by true emotional intimacy, desires independence and has trouble staying in long-term relationships. This dance can go on for a long time making the members of the relationship both insecure. There is hope, a attachment styles can change. With some honest work, you and your therapist can explore how your attachment style came to be and how it has impacted relationships. You can be on your way towards a more secure self.

Related Posts

Navigating Parenting in Today’s Fast-Paced World

In our modern, high-demand society, parent(s) find themselves juggling full-time careers, managing family responsibilities, and attending to their own mental and emotional well-being. This complex balancing act can be stressful, yet with the right approach, it’s also manageable and deeply rewarding. Here’s a deeper look

Read More

Narcissism in the Family

Dealing with a narcissistic family member can be emotionally taxing and complex, often requiring patience, resilience, and strategic boundaries. Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is characterized by an inflated sense of self-importance, a deep need for excessive attention and admiration, troubled relationships, and a lack of

Read More

Redefining Sexual Liberation: Embracing Authenticity over Activity

In recent years, the volume of conversations has been growing around sexual liberation, challenging traditional norms and encouraging a more open dialogue about sexuality. However, the concept of sexual liberation is often misconstrued as synonymous with being overly sexually active. It’s essential to broaden this

Read More

The High Stakes of Gambling Addiction

Gambling, with its allure of instant wealth and excitement, can quickly turn into a perilous obsession for some. While a casual bet or two may seem harmless, for those with a predisposition to addiction, it can spiral into a consuming and destructive habit. At the

Read More

Navigating the Workplace: Coping with a Toxic Boss

In today’s fast-paced work environment, having a supportive and understanding leadership team is crucial for our mental and emotional well-being. Unfortunately, not everyone is lucky enough to have such an environment. A toxic boss can significantly impact your mental health, leading to stress, anxiety, and

Read More