AMR Therapy | Online Video Therapy

The Impact of Domestic Violence

Signs of abuse:

Using Intimidation- An abuser may use threats of physical violence or even subtler tactics, such as the invasion of personal space, displays of physical size and strength, or certain looks, gestures, or other body language to intimidate and thereby gain control over their partner.

Using Emotional Abuse- An abuser may demean and belittle their partner in order to gain control by making them feel worthless, embarrassed, and helpless. Examples may include making comments on their partner’s weight, appearance, or intelligence. This can often occur in public places and/or social settings.

Using Isolation- This tactic is used by an abuser to gain control over their partner by isolating them from friends and family.  An abuser may claim to be disliked by the friends and family of their partner and use this as a reason for not letting their partner associate with them. Often abusers will withhold phone calls and messages from family members and friends as a form of isolation. An abuser will generally attempt to gain control by cutting off supportive figures in their partner’s life.

Minimizing, Denying, Blaming- This tactic is employed by an abuser to rationalize their actions, to make the victim feel like they are to blame for the abuse, to minimize the impact of their actions, and to pretend that their behavior is not really abusive. An abuser might claim that their partner is being “too sensitive,” or that an incident of abuse was simply a “misunderstanding.” They may also directly blame their partner for the abuse, and attempt to justify an incident by blaming it on their partner’s actions and making their partner responsible.

Using Children- In a relationship that involves children, an abuser may hurt the children or threaten to take them away from their partner. While this tactic may not seem relevant in a violent relationship that does not involve children, this tactic may manifest in different ways – for example, an abuser may threaten to harm or take away their partner’s pet.

Using Male Privilege- A male or masculine-identified abuser will often find ways to gain power and control by exploiting the male privilege bestowed upon him by male-dominated society. They may do this by enforcing rigid gender roles, treating their partner like a servant or sex object, or by making all of the decisions, whether personal, financial, or otherwise.

Using Economic Abuse- An abuser may prevent their partner from obtaining a job, or interfere with their work and jeopardize employment in order to maintain their partner’s financial dependency on them, thus potentially making it difficult for their partner to leave. An abuser may have sole control over their partner’s finances or give them an “allowance.” He may also interfere with academic activities or attempt to compromise their partner’s scholarships and/or jeopardize future goals.

Using Coercion and Threats- An abuser may use this tactic to stop their partner from leaving the relationship, or to facilitate sexual abuse.  For example, the abuser may start throwing things, threaten to kill their partner, or threaten to injure their friends or family. The abuser may also threaten to commit suicide if their partner leaves them, attempting to make their partner so guilty that they decide to stay. These are all methods of gaining power and control.

If you or a loved one think you might be experience abuse in a relationship reach out to have a conversation with an advocate or mental health provider.

Related Posts

Charla Honesta: Trastorno de Estrés Postraumático

Charla Honesta: Trastorno de Estrés Postraumático  ¿Sabes qué es el trastorno de estrés postraumático y cuáles son sus síntomas? El día de hoy en nuestro blog, te explicaremos de qué se trata, cómo se desarrolla, y los síntomas que experimentan las personas que lo padecen. 

Read More

Real Talk: Post-traumatic Stress Disorder

Real Talk: Post-traumatic Stress Disorder Do you know what post-traumatic stress disorder is and what are its symptoms? Today on our blog, we will explain what it is, how it develops, and the symptoms experienced by people who suffer from it. Post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD) is

Read More

Coping with Retirement & Adjusting to a New Lifestyle

Coping with Retirement & Adjusting to a New Lifestyle Most of us think of retirement as an indefinite vacation where we will be able to do all those things we’ve been putting off for a very long time. However, retirement also brings challenges and emotional

Read More

A note from Andrea Conde, AMFT

A note from Andrea Conde, AMFT As an associate marriage and family therapist with AMR, I often consider what drives me to do the work I do. From a young age, I was inspired to work in healthcare or related fields. As a teen I

Read More
two people holding hands by a progress pride flag

Guided Support Through Your Identity Journey

Guided Support Through Your Identity Journey   Gender and sexuality are important factors in our lives that determine our relationships and our attitude towards the world. Knowing which gender and sexuality we identify with is important for our well-being, our mental health, and, above all,

Read More

Navigating the Holidays with your Loved Ones

Navigating the Holidays with your Loved Ones At this point, it’s almost cliche to say that the holidays are “tricky”. And I’m not even talking about the health safety issues that put an umbrella of judgment over winter holidays, but the time old tradition of

Read More

Housing Insecurity & Mental Health

Housing Insecurity & Mental Health           When I was entering my 2nd year of college, my parents decided to sell the home that our family lived in for 12 years. It was the longest running family residence we had in the

Read More

Understanding Gender Fluidity

Understanding Gender Fluidity Our understanding of “reality” is formed by consensus models, agreements, and traditions, but many such models contain internal contradictions or irreconcilable, opposing variables. Such a model is also seen in human sexuality, as it is still common for people to understand sexual

Read More