from Childhood Trauma
6 weeks ago I took a major leap of faith and joined a therapy group for women of color with a focus on childhood trauma and insecurity. I’ve been in and out of individual therapy for the later part of my adult years, and participated in one therapy group previously, which centered on nutrition and health, but never dug this deep into my past and childhood.
Needless to say, I was a little scared and anxious, but I knew it’d be good for me, especially since a lot of the topics that came up during my regular Telehealth one-on-one therapy tracked back to my childhood traumas. I was eager and curious to see what might come up for me during this new group.
I had acted out a lot as a teenager, went through a major goth phase, dressed punk rock, emo, ran through house parties, was a dedicated rave baby, ditched school, became sexually promiscuous and tried expressing myself through drastic personal style, tattoos, music and painfully through self-harm practices. I always thought that this acting out was just personal preferences, but what I learned though my self-healing journey as an adult, with the help of therapists and counselors, was that I was masking my actual feelings, My emotional wounds were so deep, and I couldn’t face the reality of my painful childhood and adolescence.
I sought refuge in extreme appearances and lifestyle, running away from the emotional mutilations inside of me. As an adult, I was ready to confront my painful past because I weighed the benefits against the risk and decided I was ready. Witnessing so many of my loved ones suffer in the last few years, during the pandemic, and losing some of them due to illness and death, made me realize that even though therapy can be hard, it’s worth it. I’ve always come out stronger, more fulfilled, and with a better understanding of myself and my relationships with others.
The women in this group were so supportive and the facilitator was well-trained and educated about the content, with a strong talent and intuition for what I needed.